Don’t make decisions in life based on the advice of those who won’t have to live with the results, says blogger Janet Bertholus. And then he gives three very valuable advice.
Recently I was asked to give advice in matters of love — but I cannot. It’s like giving advice on how to grow the biggest zucchini or how to learn how to play the piano. All this I tried to do and even succeeded in something. But teaching people how to succeed in love is a very slippery slope. You cannot teach a person how to feel.
Of course, there are rules, but as anyone who has ever been in a relationship, I will tell you that this is nonsense.
You take off while sitting in your seat until you reach the desired altitude. Then drinks are served to you and a film is put on until the turbulence zone begins. And then you bring your seat back to a vertical position, take out a parachute and leave the ship, or you safely experience all this and expect that the sky will be clear further and the flight will be normal.
It really comes down to these two options.
Flee, put an end to it, whatever you want to call it, or endure and wait for tomorrow to come. Something like an ostrich that hides its head in the sand. And in some ways this patience makes you look like a saint. And by the way, having been that same ostrich and saint, and even those who landed from an aircraft in an instant, I cannot defend one of them. I see meaning in every behavior, which brings us back to the first sentence. I don’t know shit.
Some of the best relationships I’ve ever seen (including my marriage) look terrible on paper when you start describing them.
I can’t tell you what will work and what won’t. Some of the best relationships I’ve seen, including my own 15 year old marriage, look terrible on paper when you start describing them. For example, we are both rams, which means that each of us is always right, and we belong to different political parties — yes, we should have killed each other during this time!
Just because you’re married doesn’t make you an expert in relationships. How can I be an expert at something that I failed repeatedly and only once finally got it right and succeeded? And I can’t explain why or how it works. If a surgeon told you this about himself, would you trust him with your life?
And don’t let anyone tell you that this path is strewn with roses.
This is a lesson in how to find a compromise. These are dirty socks on the floor, opposing opinions on many issues and political fights. And it’s just one Friday night. But listen, he could have said the same about me.
We face a lot of crap. It’s true. What I called the turbulence zone. I think I decided that I could endure it, but to be honest, I don’t remember making such a decision.
And I think I just made the decision to continue to love.
Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not at all. When my husband has the flu or is burned in the sun, he moans and complains that I have to work hard not to kill him.
I just made the decision to keep on loving
Love is alchemy, which means it is a science. That is my decision.
But if you need one rule, then here it is. Even three:
1. Your man should make you laugh — at least - ຫນຶ່ງເທື່ອຕໍ່ອາທິດ.
2. He should bring you coffee — at least — on weekends.
3. It should make you feel like “Damn, I adore you!” - ຢ່າງຫນ້ອຍຫນຶ່ງຄັ້ງຕໍ່ເດືອນ.
And it would be very cool if you regularly had … no, not sex, but moments of love. There is a difference.
But you know, I already told you, I don’t understand a damn thing about it.
Just love as much as you can and try to make tomorrow even better.